爱的秘诀 : 闭上嘴巴 , 不要较真

Did I tell you I’m addicted to Chinese articles translation? Of course I do, that explained some of the articles that was published here. But I’m meticulous on my choices though. Would it the same when it comes to dating and relationship? Right now enjoyed this article and the further and further you read towards the end of this article, slowly you will understand the philosophy of love and marriage.

Remember that a successful marriage depends on two things: (1) finding the right person and (2) being the right person“

2006年的情人节，有一对夫妇被美国有线电视网CNN隆重推出，他们是102岁的丈夫兰迪 斯和101岁的妻子格温。这一天，他们之所以成了美国的新闻人物，是因为在离婚率不断攀升的美国，他们俩创造了一项纪录——婚姻维持了78年。很多年轻人 希望听听他们的幸福箴言，他们说：“在家里，没有什么值得较真儿的，或者说，家人之间没有道理可讲；该闭嘴的时候闭上嘴就可以了，瞧，78年就这样过来 了！”

On Valentine’s day in 2006, a couple was featured on CNN online news. They are a 102 years old husband, Landy and 101 years old wife, Gwen. On this day, they became the top news for USA. As the divorce rate continues to rise, they broke the record by being married for 78 years. Many young couples were hoping to hear their secret in maintaining their relationship. They said, “There’s nothing to argue about as there is no reasoning between families. Just know when to shut your mouth up and phew, 78 years has flown by!

闭上嘴巴，不要较真儿
A经典场景：亲爱的，你这是怎么了？
丈夫最近一直为一单广告业务而奔忙，并说这个月10日跟客户研讨后就有定论了。终于等到10 日了，一大早他就穿好西服打好领带出门了……略带焦急地，妻子也在家等待丈夫的好消息，可是手机短信始终没有响起来。晚上7时，丈夫拖着疲惫的身躯进家 了，铁青着脸显然不怎么开心。或许猜测到了什么，妻子问：“亲爱的，你这是怎么了？”

Typical Scene A: What’s wrong, dear?
Husband was busy these days for an advertisement contract. Everything will be settled once the client meets him on the 10th for a discussion. Finally, it’s the 10th; he went out smartly dressed and anxious. Wife was waiting for the good news from husband. However, there was not a message at all. At 7pm, husband came home looking tired, his face held signs of defeat. Wife sensed that something is wrong and asked, “Dear, what’s wrong?

NG情境：
丈夫和气地挥一下手，说：“没事儿！”妻子继续追问：“你那生意怎么样了？这一笔能挣多少钱？你的提成是多少？”
丈夫很不耐烦地打断她：“你怎么那么啰嗦！还没签合同呢！”

Wrong action:
Husband brushes away saying, “Nothing’s wrong!” Wife continues to ask, “What about the contract? Did you clinch the deal? How much profit did you gain?
Husband was irritated and snapped, “Why are you so irritating, I didn’t get the deal!”

PASS情境：
丈夫和气地挥一下手，说：“没事儿！”看到丈夫的表现，聪明的妻子猜测到业务不怎么顺利，就干脆不问了，悄悄帮忙收拾好西服领带，拿一份当天的晚报给他，自己又去厨房忙活了……

Correct action:
Husband brushes away saying, “Nothing’s wrong!” Seeing how her husband reacts, the clever wife guessed that things had not been going smoothly the way it is expected.  So she stops probing and helped to pack his things. She passed the evening papers to him and went back to the kitchen.

点评：在夫妻中的一方心烦意乱的时候，另一方要能通过察言观色判断对方的心情，不说不合时宜的话，假如不知道该说什么，就从生活细节上关心对方，让对方心灵放松，总之，该让你知道的时候，他（她）一定会告诉你的！

Comments:
When one of the parties is confused and frustrated, the other party should be able to observe the party’s expression and actions and know when the right time to speak up is. If you are unsure of what to say, try to change the topic to others like caring about the person and make him or her feel at ease. All you need to know is that no matter what, you will know the truth sooner or later. He or she will definitely tell you.

B经典场景：老公，你到底想好该怎么办了吗？
家中公公被检查出了癌症，自己的丈夫是唯一守候在老人身边的子女，每天医院和家两头跑，忙得焦头烂额。哥哥说，到北京来看病吧，北京医疗水平高，弟弟又说，还是到上海来，这里离家近一些……

Typical Scene B: Honey, what’s your next step?
Your father-in-law is diagnosed with cancer. Your husband is his only son that stayed. He has to rush to and fro between the hospital and home. Elder son says, come to the main city, it has higher medical standard. Younger son says, it’s better to visit the nearby hospital which is nearer to home.

NG情境：
妻子不忍心丈夫那么辛苦，每天不断追问：“你到底想好怎么办了吗？你可是好几个月没发全工资了，让爸爸去北京还是上海？”
身心疲惫的丈夫终于爆发了：“怎么那么啰嗦！我爸爸的事不要你管！我乐意照顾！”

Wrong action:
Wife cannot bear her husband to be so tired, so she asked him every day, “What’s your next step? You have not got your wages for months! Which hospital do you want your dad to go?”
At this time, the lethargic husband bursts out, “Why are you so naggy? I love to take care of my dad; it has nothing to do with you!”

PASS情境：
每天看到丈夫那么辛苦，公公的病又不见好转，聪明的妻子知道丈夫一定心情不好，她所做的，就是默默地支持着丈夫，煲一锅温热的粥送到病床前，让家人都感受到亲情重如山。

Correct action:
Having to watch her beloved husband tire himself out every day, father-in-law’s condition starting to deteriorates, clever wife knows that her husband is definitely in a bad mood. She understands that what she need to is to morally support her husband and cook some food for her father-in-law to let them feel like a family. And they are all in this together.

点评：家事不是一人可以做主的，要给对方也给自己一段思考的时间，在语言交流未果之前，沉默是给对方最好的鼓励，催促只能让对方感受到更多的压力，以至于失去判断和决策能力。

Comments: Family is together, family matters are not up to only a person to decide. Give the involved party to think about it. Before speaking up, remain silent as a sense of encouragement. Rushing will only let the other party to feel fed up and lose their concentration and judgment.

If you like Chinese translation posts, why not check others of them out- like the Love Thesis or the remedy Love poem.