If you’re lucky in love, you haven’t experienced the common relationship trap that many women fall into: sticking with the wrong guy for far too long. And hopefully, if you follow these steps, you’ll never have such a bad relationship problem. Others of you, if you have had to deal with a poor relationship, well then: relax, breathe easy, and learn from the experience. These steps can also help you as well as you get back into the dating scene.
Problems in relationships occur because each person is concentrating on what is missing in the other person. – Wayne Dyer
Maintain Your Independence
The most important part about being in a healthy relationship and avoiding a bad one is to maintain your independence, especially when first starting out in the relationship. The more independent you are, the easier it will be for you to extricate yourself from a relationship if it goes bad in the future. So keep your bank accounts separate.
Don’t move in with the guy. Keep your old job and network. Be sure to continue to hang out with your friends. And don’t change locations or move across the country until you know for sure that the relationship is as healthy as ever.
Find Out About Your Guy
For this step, you’ll have to do a little bit of research, the nature of which you have to balance between looking out for yourself and coming across a little creepy to your friends and family. Certainly ask your friends to help you, but don’t tell them everything you’ve done to check on the guy. Bookmark many of his online profiles those first few weeks.
Take notice of what kind of people he hangs out with. See what sorts of things he likes. The more information you know about him, the better chance you’ll have for comparing how he changes once he’s more comfortable in the relationship. It’s easy to spot a faker if you’ve done all your homework.
Have A Deal-Breaker List
When you start thinking seriously about the man you’re interested in, try to come up with a list of attributes and qualities that would be a ‘deal-breaker’ for the relationship. Obviously, there are some ones, such as physical abuse, that make the top of this list.
But you should also consider verbal abuse and/or other sorts of emotional harm as things you will not tolerate. Then, a third category of ‘deal-breakers’ can be how he treats your family and friends. Carefully note how your man does this; if you see that he’s not respectful of people you love, there’s the risk he might eventually lose respect for you.
Take Your Time
Another important, but relatively simple thing to consider is that you should take your time with the relationship. A relationship that develops slowly gives you a chance to constantly evaluate whether or not it’s right for you. Have a sense of pacing in mind. Take your time!
Talk With Your Friends
Finally, lean on your friends for help. If you feel as though something troubling is occurring within the relationship, talk it out with your friends, especially those of your friends who have experience with relationships.
The opinion of someone you trust can help you immensely as you decide whether to break it off or work it out.
Guest Author Bio:
This guest post is contributed by Vanessa Jones, who writes on the topics of dating sites.